one, two, three

It's not an amazing day today, looking outside at the grey clouded sky and the trees swimming in the wind it's hard to get a sense of what's to come.
I don't really feel a change coming, I feel an odd sense of anticipation. There are a few small indicators of the progression. I have a noticed a line or two that seems to be setting itself up for a long stay; organizing meetings with the proper authorities, trying to gain residency. Hey, come on, ask me! I'll tell you where you can fuck off to. But I guess I don't get much of a say in these matters from here on in.
There's also more exciting mail then usual, a definite sign that somethings happening.
I need someone to cuddle tonight, so that I don't wake up having vanished in the morning, I'm scared I won't exist. Someone needs to hold me close and hold me here.
I think this is the first year I've wanted to disappear, to swim in the other direction.
I'm not old, not yet.
It's not too late too run.







Dear Spoons,

i love you
I love you because you always make me feel safe and sheltered.
When you wrap your arms around me I am untouchable and nothing can come after me, nothing can come between us. We are untouchable.
When I wake up in bed with you I find it impossible to move, to leave, to get up and start my day. What motivation could I possibly have when my day is perfectly unbeatable? Why get up when it's all downhill from there. The ultimate morning, the best wake up nuzzling.
Spoons, you make me feel like the most adored girl in all the worlds. You always make me feel unbelievably special, because you always insist on having me close to you. Which is delightful because I wouldn't want to be with anyone else.
We are the perfect pair you and I: Big spoon, middle spoon, little spoon - I don't mind.
Spend the day in bed with me -
Hell, spend three days in bed with me.

I promise you won't regret it,
(L)

wish list

I hate Christmas carols, they rub me entirely the wrong way. And if I hear a Christmas carol before Christmas eve I get angry, even if it's only a couple days premature.
I do enjoy Christmas carols on Christmas eve, but only when I'm in a car, filled with my sisters and mum and dad (this is getting to be a harder and weirder family tradition each year) and we drive around and look at the lights with the Disney Christmas carol CD blaring and us screaming merry Christmas to everyone we see while counting Christmas trees. Every year these silly little family rituals get further afield from what I remember, but what I absolutely love about my family is that not one of us cares that we look like morons or that we're all in our 20's, we still relive these childhood games every year. Running around the backyard with sparklers, throwing them in the air and mum yelling at us, eating chips and drinking coke, hanging up our stockings with matching pegs... No one has ever claimed to be too old for this.
They're probably too scared of what we'd do to them if they did.
We still make mum fill our stockings... But now, we fill hers.







Dear Santa,

i love you
Here is a list of things I want for Christmas... I'll love you even more if I get them all...

• Ipod Nano
• Wacom tablet
• Adobe Suite
• tongue piercing
• A book shelf
• Black low-top connies
• DVDs
• The entire contents of the Peter Alexander Christmas catalog including the men
• A place in Brissie with air conditioning, a pool and a fenced yard
• TV on DVD: One Tree Hill, Buffy, Sex & the City, Heroes, entourage season 5, scrubs season 7
  
• summer dresses
• bubble blowing machine
• underwater pogo stick
• giant beach ball

(L)