puddle jumping

In the middle of the night, lying cold and wet in a puddle of my tears, a stray thought crossed my mind amid the darker more depressing question bubbles floating over my head. I slowly reach up and gently let the bubble come to rest on my palm, taking all possible precautions against its breakage.
Maybe somethings in life are uncontrollable and ridiculously frustrating and confronting for this reason. But if I'm going to hide under my bed in the middle of the night shaking with fear, I'm not going to be hiding from me... not anymore.
I pulled my phone from the dripping puddle that surrounded me and wrote messages of love, to other people, but mainly to me.
And then pop... the thought was gone.






dear self-loathing

i love you
i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you.

now will you please start loving me?

(L)