all grown up

my old posts make me sound like I have bipolar. Up and down they go, mood swing high to mood swing low. It's like a game. I read them and I wonder, was I really every that confused? Have I figured that much more out, Or simply grown up a little?

So many posts about loneliness, unhappiness and a desire to find my one true love. It's nice to know these aren't grey clouds in my life anymore, that I've overcome the need for a partner, a lover. That I have accepted myself and my life as, well, exactly that, MINE. People can come and go as they choose but they can never dictate the course of my life.. and I will never wait for them. I will continue on my way.

I suppose figuring out all that bullshit love stuff is really just a part of growing up, it all sounds so pathetically sad to me now; that I wasted so much time pining over lost loves, future loves and past loves.

I find myself in a place I never expected to be with a man I never expected to be with but I'm happy here, I feel content. I don't have the restless feeling I had in my early 20's, I dont need to run, I can take off my shoes and I won't get prickles in my toes.

I can follow my own heart and my own mind and be happy with the choices they make for me.