swamps and swamp things

I'm trapped inside this house, with all its secrets and unspoken truths.
I can't leave, there's a moat around my room and the draw bridge has been pulled up and the lever broken, no one can get in to fix it.
There's secrets in my heart and in my soul that I don't want anyone to know, and the quiet house is whispering to them asking them to come out.
I need to leave this place and escape it's enchanting calls. No-one can know what my souls says, not me and especially not this house or its inhabitants.
Perhaps I will flag down a passing bird and throw my nap-sack on its winged back and soar to new heights of safety. Will I be safe there? Up in the sky? Will the whispering find me?
I hope that I can be safe somewhere, that I will not have to retreat fully into my heart and become a hermit in my ventricles.
I know I can be safe again, one day people will stop seeking the secrets of my heart and leave me to live my life, they will stop knocking on the door to my soul screaming to be let in. They will let me be me and I will let those who I love inside where they can find warmth in my truth.
In the mean time, I'm getting my swimmers on and I'm getting out of here, because the silence of the whispering is driving me mad and I'll fight the treacherous waters if it means a minute of freedom.






Dear Secrets,

i love you
You keep me safe and dry in this rainy weather and I thank-you for that and will love you always for this kindness. You keep me safe from prying eyes and you look after me, you know everything there is to know about me.
With you in my life I can be who I want to be and no one can tell me otherwise because they cannot see into my soul.
Only you know the truth about me and you love me anyway. You do not judge me on these things that I do, that I keep, that I am. No-one has ever known me so fully and just accepted me with every flaw, and I do not believe that anyone ever will.
So thank-you secrets for helping me continue to be a functioning member of society,

You have the VIP pass,

(L)

new shrapnel & nose bleeds

Today my bed is my sanctuary from the relentless winds carrying on with their tantrums outside the walls of my little home. These winds are threatening to take me and my little dog too off to the land of OZ. I'm not in the mood to wet witches or search for courage, love or my brain. Today I'll wait for these things to come to me. I just want to sit here, under my blanket like a kid huddling in the middle of a thunder storm waiting to be swept away. Pretending not to be afraid.






Dear Winds,

i love you
The thing about you is that you never stay long. I know our time together is precious and I scramble to steal you for as long as possible, to make the most of what time we do have.
I trap memories of you in my mind and can recall them on whims.
Your ridiculously loud laughter, playing chase-ies around the house, I hear the doors creek as you sneak into a room, the curtain sway from you passing through. I could chase you all day, following the signs you leave behind. But you are impossible to catch, I never seem to be able to wrap my arms around you and say 'gotcha' you're too elusive, I'm not sure that you will ever truly be mine.
But it's impossible for me to hide from you, you can sneak up on me, find me no matter how well I hide. I like hiding from you, and looking for you... although all I ever see is the swaying of the trees you pass by.

Stay a while?
(L)