the night crawlers

I went adventuring last night.
I woke up from a deep slumber, packed a bag of supplies, tied some knots in my laces and set out to save my relatives from the faraway castle where they had been imprisoned.
I had to do all sorts of bizarre but necessary things to get to my destination, as we all know, faraway castles are notoriously hard to get to. I solved riddles, fought giants, commandeered luck dragons and rode all around the city on their backs, wind blowing in my hair.
There were clues to decipher and concealed doorways to locate with hidden keys tucked away in dark corners.
I hunted and foraged for my meals and rested briefly under trees in the swaying motion of the night. The air was full of anticipation, the night was on my side.
I drank from the magic goblet which gave me strange and wonderful new powers, power which enabled me to save my family and make them safe.
I returned home, flying this time on the back of the nights joys, the airs ecstasy and rivers euphoria.
There was magic and the magic and I flew home together.
When I woke up this morning it was gone, it was just me alone in my bed. The night and it's magic had crept away while a slumbered and I awoke with only vague memories of the all that have passed.
I was happy though, that I woke up as me.
Just me.
I'll do.






Dear Bed,

i love you
You and I are the perfect match. I didn't realise how much I would miss you, or even suppose how much I was missing you, when I moved.
I missed everything, your soft touch, falling asleep in your arms, the way you whisper to me while I sleep and send me into peaceful dreams and most importantly the way you lift me off the floor and stop the ants crawling all over me while I slumber.
You're the one i want to watch movies with, cuddle with, spend time with when I'm sick. Nothing brings me instant comfort the way you do. You have the ability to lift my mood and take me a lace of divine luxury. You make me feel like a princess.
You're the one for me, I know that now, and I also know that we can't be apart again. I don't enjoy it when your not around. Your the only one I want to sleep with in this world. I've tried couches and cushions and foamies and tents and cabins and lodges and tree-houses and none of these compare to being with you.
The moment I saw you standing in my room, in pieces, asking for me to have you in my life I knew that leaving you was the worst mistake I have ever made.
Thank you for finding your way back to me,

Now we can sleep together for eternity,
(L)

who's going to save you now that i'm dead?

Today. Today. Today. Today I feel like writing, unfortunately that feeling is not skipping merrily hand-in-hand with something to say.
I'm coming up against a lot of obstacles, not just in my writing which is all but dead.
I feel like a heroic prince; yielding my sword to bravely cut back the terrifying and encroaching poisoned vine that threatens to choke the fragile neck of my princess. Only I can't cut fast enough, and my sword is too heavy and the vines are creeping around my ankles. I can't move, I'm stuck, my sword has fallen to my side, I'm covered in vines, I can't see my princess, she's disappeared too.
Who's going to save me? If I'm the one who does the saving?
Why am I the prince?
Why can't I be the princess?





Dear Independence,

i love you
I've never had this feeling before, this feeling of being alone and liking it. Independence, you're unlike any lover I've ever had before. You bring out strengths in me I never bothered looking for. When I'm with you I feel like I don't need you... though I must admit it's nice to know you're there watching out for me, someone needs to, since I am totally and utterly hopeless.
I like how we can have such space from each other and not need all that reassurance, not feel that ridiculous jealousy. It's just so nice to be comfortable, with no worries.
Although all this time on my own does make me feel like it's only a matter of time before I fall down a rabbit hole, and as much as I wish I was I'm no Alice, when I fall down that hole I'm not sure I'm going to like what I find.

Don't,
(L)

is planting the seed

I don't have much to say except the usual, I suppose that's the reason for tremendous gappage in posts. I have written several love letters but they don't seem to be able to escape the claws of my spiral bound notepad into the phenomenally expansive world of the inter-web.
I feel out of contact with a lot of the people I love most in this world, they all seem to be dangling over the cliff waiting for me to pull them back to safety... but if you've seen my arms you would know there's not much chance of me pulling them to safety.







Dear missing friend,
i love you
I want to see fast and furious with you...
who else?
just you.

a seat for two?
(L)




Dear missing friend,
i love you
I want to watch skins with you, eat cupcakes...
Dance in the rain?

Just me and just you.
(L)




Dear missing friend,
i love you
Lets have coffee's and cuddles?
goonies and giggles?

I miss everything about you,
(L)




Dear missing friend,
i love you
Tell me a story, about badminton in the backyard? or guitar sessions in bed? Tell me a story about my missing friend.

There's too much room in my bed.
(L)




Dear missing friend,
i love you
Where's my adventure buddy? where's my tea and talks?
where's my practical jokes?

where's my banana fantana?
(L)




Dear missing friend,
i love you
I want pinches and punches. I want you to make me cry and make me smile. I want sweet nothings. I want nothing.

?
(L)




Dear missing friend,
i love you
where are you? Why am I all alone?
Where's my cuddles in the night? the smiles in the middle of a fight?

I'm alone and lonely
(L)

puddle jumping

In the middle of the night, lying cold and wet in a puddle of my tears, a stray thought crossed my mind amid the darker more depressing question bubbles floating over my head. I slowly reach up and gently let the bubble come to rest on my palm, taking all possible precautions against its breakage.
Maybe somethings in life are uncontrollable and ridiculously frustrating and confronting for this reason. But if I'm going to hide under my bed in the middle of the night shaking with fear, I'm not going to be hiding from me... not anymore.
I pulled my phone from the dripping puddle that surrounded me and wrote messages of love, to other people, but mainly to me.
And then pop... the thought was gone.






dear self-loathing

i love you
i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you.

now will you please start loving me?

(L)

the wild child

Some times, as is life, you are left waiting for things. Waiting to hear back from somebody, a phone call, a text. Waiting for a visitor or, on a boring enough day, a tv show.
This whole phenomenon of waiting is, however, something I have never been able to master. I get very irritated. I've often been observed engaged in a somewhat one sided yelling match with boys (that's right, more than one poor soul has fallen victim to this woeful scene), informing them, rather forcefully, that in being 20 minutes late they have sentenced themselves to 20 minutes of either the 'silent treatment' (this is the generally preferred option) or alternatively, 20 minutes of berating about time management and keeping promise and the necessity of not only bringing excuses but also treats and surprises if one wishes to get away with late arrivals.
I'm a terror. It's true.









Dear Patience,

i love you
Or at least I think i do, you won't hang out with me so I'm not entirely sure, i do know, however, that we would be good together, maybe even great together. I'd be a better person, less irritable and angry.
I've seen with with other girls, guy too actually, you seem to have this wonderfully calming effect on people and it makes me quite jealous. I'm aching for that calm that you bring, a kind of security that is really lacking in my life.
What do I have to do to get your attention, how do I get you to notice me and take an interest?
I need you in mu life, I feel as though I am missing something vital. This feeling I'm sure every human being has, but I'm detached from it.
I can't wait for you,

So just hurry up,
(L)

dead ant

I don't suppose it's healthy to think that drinking fixes things. But for me, well, sometimes it's true. When I was a spring chicken, in my binge drinking prime (which, I'm sure would horrify my mother to know, is not now) I used to have a tendency to cry and get all emotional like when I drank, involving all those unfortunates around me in grueling non-sensical ramblings of my life's troubles... Alcohol's a depressant... right?
Well, wrong. For some reason, now I have been sprinkled with drinking seasoning I seem to be able to shake whatever mood cloud has been hovering over my life and just dance it out.
Drinking makes me happy...
I don't think that's necessarily a good thing, but I'm just going to have to roll with it I think.









Dear Goonies,

i love you
It’s true, you always being a giant smile to my face. You inspire those around you to play games, let go and just enjoy life’s moments for what they are. Spending time with you always gives my tummy a warm mumbling quality which no one else has ever summoned.
I think what assures me that this love is true is the instability of my mornings post-you. When I wake up and you are not there, after we have spent another wonderfully crazy night together, I always feel ill. And not just with emotional turmoil, this is an actual physical illness, there are headaches, nausea, motion sickness… a whole range of symptoms encroach on the pain of your departure and feast on my body.
Some days I cannot open my eyes or move from my bed as the pain is too much, the beast of loneliness feeds on me until its hunger is satisfied, this can take days.
Again a testament to our love, that despite the day of woe that stalks our nights together I am always finding my way back into your arms, willing you to sweep me away into a night of such incredible joy no amount of feasting can destroy.
You feed my with confidence, you cloud my judgments, disable my perception, cause my feet to wobble under me and dance with me like a maniac.
Being around you alters me; I cannot get enough of you. I will bleed your heart dry, take all I can from you until all that remains is an empty sack.

We will destroy each other,
(L)

everybody's got the blues

Hm hum hum diddley um drum mum mum drum frum how do you blow a raspberry in txt? XBrfffphtttttx raspberry. Breasticles, testicles wallet and watch. Matt has eyes. Kate has a nose. Lola has hair. Alanna has a neck. Matt has a mullet. The guitar has a Matt. The neck has a head. The head has a freckle. Right. Love is... Walrus serving sherbet mocktails on a summer afternoon in the land of fog and frog. Trees of milk and honey. Rivers of sparkle juice and skies of rocky road ice cream. Guitar singalongs on giant bed ships floating through disappearing realms of adventuring housies and walking chocolate fisheries. Red balloon clouds and bubbles you can catch rides in. Yum.

Dear Ex-Housie,

i love you
I need you
I miss you
I miss:

• Bed picnics
• Chill out sessions
• Pillow fights
• Watching you cook
• Eating your cooking
• Photo shoots
• Naked stalker pictures
• Toilet rolls
• All day dates
• Road trips
• Party planning
• Giant dinner parties
• Crazy after parties
• Movie nights
• Never-ending conversations
• Grocery shopping
• Tea, tea, tea
• Banana bread
• Banana pancakes
• Sherbet mocktails
• 'Rocky road' ice-cream
• Murder mysteries
• Rainbow paddle pops
• Dancing
• Treats and surprises
• Leftovers
• Adventures
• Burnt cookies
• Hot chocolates
• Facebook stalking

I miss everything

Your housemate, always
(L)