crushing

Jack

kate kate... tell me a story

im bored and dont wanna work

5:42pmKate

me either

but i have to

i hate how much i procrastinate

there once was a girl who cried because she had so much work to do she thought she would collapse under the impact

5:43pmJack

lol.... and what happened to this poor unfortunate girl?

5:44pmKate

she went to school and sorted through everything and decided it might actually be possible to succeed if she applied an abnormally large amount of dedication to the tasks at hand

she set to work

this wasn't going to be easy, she stayed home from school the next day and made paper owls, these were part of an assignment and not some crazy business of a side tracking nature, these owls were cute but they weren't really fixing the core of the problem

she needed to write an essay and design a CD cover before Friday

this was the most pressing concern that weighed on her

she struggled around with this enormous burden on her shoulders fearing that at any moment it would prove to much for her pathetically weak frame and she would be crushed

but slowly she lifted it off and observed it

5:46pmJack

you forgot to mention she is a short ass!

5:46pmKate

it was a big bundle, a huge bunde, a bundle of immense proportion (this girl enjoyed the word bundle) and it should be noted that this girl was a short ass

5:46pmJack

ha better

5:47pmKate

she decided she would stay up all night and make a CD case, then tomorrow (being Wednesday) she would complete the essay and by Thursday the looming day of death, her bundle would have been lightened (thought not dramatically)

5:48pmJack

hmmm so what happened???

dont leave me hangin

5:49pmKate

so she persevered until about 4am when she decided her nemesis sleep had one. she made many many many CD cases but they were all of poor artistic quality. she fell into a restless sleep worrying about what would happen if she could not complete her work, if she CD case was mega crap and if her essay was well shy of a 1000 word, she knew

it would end in certain death, nothing would aid her in recovery from that harsh blow

she woke up determined

then went back to sleep deflated

5:50pmKate

when she awoke the second time she set out to finish the CD case to a much higher standard. this was achieved, it was not actually all that hard to improve on the poor standard that was the mark of the previous nights efforts and she was vaguely and remotely OK with what she came up with

she decided she deserved a short break before delving into the essay and sat down to enjoy a small morsel of lunch and a gianormous milkshake with her com padre Bestie...

she got home and decided she would write her essay

5:52pmJack

lol this sounds like the climax

5:52pmKate

she sat down at her computer, read over her smart ass introduction, laughed at her arrogance

opened her web browser

and signed into facebook

the end

Dear Facebook

i love you
I love the distractions you bring on a boring afternoon, but I hate it when you know I have work to do and you just sit around and interrupt me, its really irritating because you know I'm about to fail TAFE and you know how much I don't want to.
Just leave me alone for the rest of the night, and maybe be a bit distant next week too?

Please? I'm powerless against you...
(L)

apologies

busy busy busy :(






Dear Blog,

i love you
But I'm too busy to write on you for a while.
Don't feel neglected, I will be back.
(L)

rumours

I don't actually know whether it's strange or not, whether it makes me abnormal... but I don't think it does...
So, I like a little bit of pain sometimes, I'm thinking that's not the weirdest thing anyone's ever heard since we all tongue our loose teeth even though it hurts, its a good sort of pain? right?
Well, I love all sorts of painful things, nothing too fucked up or crazy like whips or cutting or anything like that, I'm talking lamecore painful things. Like Chinese burns, slaps, pinches, that feeling when you accidentally ram yourself into something and feel like the limb in question may never work properly again. Maybe thats why I have so many brusies, perhaps subconciusly my body's looking for it's next hit. Sicko.







Dear Pinches

i love you
You are the most sexy thing I have ever seen on this planet and, consequently, you turn me on terribly!
I know it's probably crazy to love you like this when all you do is hurt me... but you're everything to me, I know you can be short and blunt but I'm happy to endure the pain for the moments of ecstasy they bring, moments of pure uninhibited excitement and passion.
The pain excites me, I know it's wrong to say, I'm sitting here thinking about all the women trapped in abusive relationships who may read this and cry at my idiocy and all the Nazi feminist who would read this and feel compelled to throw up... But Pinches, if you stopped hurting me, I think I'd stop loving you.
Oh that is so screwed up, but I know you love me, I don't think you'd hurt me if I asked you to stop, a little bit of S&M never hurt anyone did it?

Oh wait, thats the point...
(L)

i'm not sorry

I often find myself waiting for apologies or waiting for the moment I'm allowed to forgive someone for hurting me. I don't like being angry at people, especially people I value. But the apologies don't always come, or else they come and they're not what I was expecting, they seem hollow. I can see right through them to the insincere face delivering them. These transparent words hurt the worst I think, because I've been hanging out to release my forgiveness and make amends and then I end up more confused and wounded then I was originally.
I want to forgive everyone, but I don't think that they all deserve it. And I don't want people to walk all over me because they know I can't hold a very good grudge.





Dear Apologies,

i love you
You fix things, mend my wounds, heal my heart. Your attention surprises me and often causes my cheeks to light up in shades of pink and red.
You always speak to me so tenderly and always to heartfelt - You take my aching heart in your hands and nurture it into love, courage and most importantly, forgiveness.
You are the angel of my life, you come to me when I am feeling hurt or betrayed and you lift that sorrow from me and free me into a new world.
But Apology, the last time we hung out your words were empty. Your usual affect was lost on me, I felt more hurt and more betrayed by our last encounter than I have felt from any betrayal. I think you were being selfish, I think you were TRYING to get the forgiveness without much emphasis on the foreplay, and I'm sorry but the pain is too deep for forgiveness, I don't think it's mendable, not unless you can be the best Apology you've ever been... And I don't think you care enough to try.
It really hurts me when I'm waiting for certain things to be done or to be said so I can make a mends with you, but knowing at the same times these things will never occur.
I don't think you could understand how much you've hurt me because I don't understand it myself.
Please don't try to apologise again,

It only hurts me,
(L)

rose grey, lady grey, chai, sleepy time, chamomile

Tea, tea, tea, tea, tea. There's nothing better then sitting down in front of the television with a pot of a tea, an awesome housie, a blanket and puppy. It's the stuff dreams are made of.
There's also nothing better then sitting in a big cosy chair with a cup of tea and a good book (and maybe a puppy).







Dear Tea,

i love you
And I don't think I tell you that enough. I know you have only come into my life recently but you have changed everything so dramatically, you've altered my perspective on life.
Every morning when I wake up all I can do is think about seeing your face, spending time with you, feeling your soft kisses. Mornings, morning teas, afternoon teas and nighttime. You and I have an all day love affair which shoots lightning bolts through my body.
There's something magical about you that turns me into a fiend, it's in your kisses (that's where it is). They're searingly hot at first, like you've lit my lips on fire. They melt me. The fire from your lips spreads all over my body and settles in my tummy.
I know that my love is both real and true because when I know we're going to be hanging out I get super smiley and the butterflies invade my stomach to practice their aeronautical routines. When we make plans to watch late night movies I run around like crazy trying to get everything organised and perfect before you arrive.
It has to be true because your touch affects my entire being - it reaches deep inside my stomach and swells around in my heart.

I want you, NOW.
(L)

half empty

I woke up feeling alone; feeling empty. Like there was a part of me missing - a big part. This feeling was surprising to me as I hadn't been feeling this way before. Had part of me escaped in the night, leaving me deflated?
I felt isolated. I missed everything I ever thought my life could be and even the things I knew my life still was. I was detached from every movement I made and every feeling I felt aside from the overwhelming pain in my heart.
I don't like this feeling, but am glad that tomorrow this feeling will be gone.
There's peace in that.







Dear Missing,

i love you,
You're gone now and I'm aching for you, aching for the touch of your words on my heart, my heart which feels utterly empty without you.
I wish we could have pulled together and made it work, instead we pulled apart and watched it die, writhing in the vacuum we had created, struggling to survive.
It's strange to think that I could have loved you forever, been with you for eternity. It's stranger still to think that I will love someone as fiercely as I loved you, but I will.
The distance is so vast and dark, I don't know how to cross it and reach you. Things in my life seem so odd when you're not associated with them anymore, my bed feels sacred to you and I. Your cuddles and your warmth - so terrifying to know that I will never be your littlest spoon again. Never again feel you behind me, breathing your life into my spine.
You've gone now,
Missing
Missing
Missing
But your lips belong to me, I stole them like a theif in the night. I keep them in my pocket and your heart still hugs my heart where they sleep together on my sleeve. But my heart is heavy, burdened and lonelier than I knew it could be. Because your heart has changed, its a shadow of what it once was, a memory perhaps.
How do you know whats meant to be? Forgotten, embraced, kept at a distance?
How do you know who's meant to be? Loved, fought for, betrayed, erased.
What memories would I be willing to lose in order to avoid fragments of a rubble heart?

All? None.
(L)

times have changed

50 pieces of gum... You think, I'm going to get some awesome tattoos. You think, scorpians, spiders, skull and crossbones, pirate treasures...
30 Pieces of gum and you get, three bright blue cameras which say CLIK. 100's of little manga dragonball Z type peoples, 'a do not walk sign', a chicken in a pot, a boxing kangaroo, some weird egyptian stuff, and cool ass sunglasses with lightening bolts on them.
20 pieces of PIRATE gum and you get, 4 pirate ships, 3 pirate treasure chests, 2 skulls and crossbones, 1 mean looking pirate, 2 ship pirate face combos and 8 ugly pirates with hook hands... I repeat 8!!! Why do they always make more of the shit ones no body wants?
It's not easy fitting 20 pieces of gum in your mouth at once either, and it makes one hell of a gum/spit ball.




Dear Bubblegum Tattoos,

i love you
I love you for many reasons, firstly because you're full of surprises, I never know exactly what I will get out of my time spent with you. Secondly I love you because you are sweet, sometimes you smell like bananas but mostly you are just sickly sweet, you treat me so well I feel like my teeth will rot out and my stomach burn and twist into a giant gum ball of uselessness, I like this about you, nothing else makes me feel this way. Thirdly, I love you because when your skin touches my skin it leaves a mark, I feel as if your touch embeds your thoughts onto my skin.
We were childhood sweethearts you and I, but we weren't like Joey and Dawson, Seth and Summer, Lucas and Peyton... We didn't have a swarm of high school kids wishing we'd get back together, knowing it was fate and just waiting for us to realise.
It was a shock to me, I think it was a shock to you too. But now we're together I think its the right thing, I think it's going to be great and I think we'll be together for a long time yet.

You know what I love about you, how you can be really lame but really cool at the same time, because FOURTHLY, you can make a chicken boiling in a pot with a handkerchief in his hand the most awesome thing I've ever seen...

I don't understand that, but I do understand that I love you,
(L)