booze & boiz

I sit beside myself with everything in between.
I sit beside myself with nothing to prove,
with clean sheets,
with dirty hair,
a box of chocolates,
and a life.
My life.






Dear Sleep,

i love you
Last night I waited in my bed for you. I waited all night long.
Normally you come swiftly, sweeping me away from my tiring thoughts and repetitive inner monologue to our special world, the world where nothing exists but you and me.
But last night I was alone, alone in the dark with my thoughts and my nightmares, monsters crept around my windows and strange howling winds threatened the cocoon that sheltered me and my thoughts.
Sleep, I need you. The night alone left me feeling scattered and shaky. It had such a dramatic impact on me. I found it hard to operate all day today.
It's simple, without you I'm a complete mess, utterly hopeless.
All the nights I spend with you I never tired of your company or get irritated with your words. It's like I begin a time-warp when you enter my room, my bed, my head. My time with you is never wasted and always cut short, time with you is priceless, is necessary and is as hard to quit as any drug.
After hanging out with you I feel refreshed, awakened and alive.
Please never leave me alone for a whole night again, it scares me. Worries me. Fills me with angst and frustration.
Thoughts of you distract me from my work, often when I'm doing assignments or watching a movie I am consumed with thoughts of you that carry me away from the tasks I am attempting and take me into your arms. Other nights I lay in my bed and wait for you to come to me.
I wait for you every night, and always will.

Sweet dreams,
(L)