Tuesday, May 12, 2009

the vampire slayer

I tried to blog today about my efforts to slay the nights heart with my daggers and courage.
I was going to tell you how I painted myself black and stalked the night with bare feet on cold ground.
I was going to tell you about all the horrible and terrifying things I saw that I could never describe to you because there are no human words in any version of the language to describe such unearthly terror.
I was going to tell you how I was unable to be afraid because the night would sense it and use it against me
I tried to tell you, to warn you.
But I couldn't.
I wanted you to know that I walked for days in search of a heart I grew suspicious of even existing.
I wanted to explain to you how the wind can taunt you, and the trees can trap you, and the things that go bump in the night have teeth and fangs and are impervious to any amount of stabbing.
I wanted to tell you about the place I ended up, when I reached the heart. And what I saw there, and how it changed my life.
I tried to blog about it, but I couldn't.
Most of all I wanted to tell you that when I reach the 'heart' it was, as one would expect, crawling with demons of my past and threats about my future. I wanted to tell you that this was what I had expected and I had conjured magic to help me fight the doom which I knew would defeat me if given the chance. I wanted to talk of how all the preparation in the world couldn't save me from myself.
What I had no intention of telling you was that I'd been there before.
And it was you who save me then.

And it's you who'll save me now.





To Whom It May Concern,

i love you,

And I'm going to find my way back to you.
I'm sorry, but you're perfect.

You're the one,
(L)




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