Wednesday, October 29, 2008

crushing



Jack


kate kate... tell me a story



im bored and dont wanna work



5:42pmKate


me either



but i have to



i hate how much i procrastinate



there once was a girl who cried because she had so much work to do she thought she would collapse under the impact



5:43pmJack


lol.... and what happened to this poor unfortunate girl?



5:44pmKate


she went to school and sorted through everything and decided it might actually be possible to succeed if she applied an abnormally large amount of dedication to the tasks at hand



she set to work



this wasn't going to be easy, she stayed home from school the next day and made paper owls, these were part of an assignment and not some crazy business of a side tracking nature, these owls were cute but they weren't really fixing the core of the problem



she needed to write an essay and design a CD cover before Friday



this was the most pressing concern that weighed on her



she struggled around with this enormous burden on her shoulders fearing that at any moment it would prove to much for her pathetically weak frame and she would be crushed



but slowly she lifted it off and observed it



5:46pmJack


you forgot to mention she is a short ass!



5:46pmKate


it was a big bundle, a huge bunde, a bundle of immense proportion (this girl enjoyed the word bundle) and it should be noted that this girl was a short ass



5:46pmJack


ha better



5:47pmKate


she decided she would stay up all night and make a CD case, then tomorrow (being Wednesday) she would complete the essay and by Thursday the looming day of death, her bundle would have been lightened (thought not dramatically)



5:48pmJack


hmmm so what happened???



dont leave me hangin



5:49pmKate


so she persevered until about 4am when she decided her nemesis sleep had one. she made many many many CD cases but they were all of poor artistic quality. she fell into a restless sleep worrying about what would happen if she could not complete her work, if she CD case was mega crap and if her essay was well shy of a 1000 word, she knew



it would end in certain death, nothing would aid her in recovery from that harsh blow



she woke up determined



then went back to sleep deflated



5:50pmKate


when she awoke the second time she set out to finish the CD case to a much higher standard. this was achieved, it was not actually all that hard to improve on the poor standard that was the mark of the previous nights efforts and she was vaguely and remotely OK with what she came up with



she decided she deserved a short break before delving into the essay and sat down to enjoy a small morsel of lunch and a gianormous milkshake with her com padre Bestie...



she got home and decided she would write her essay



5:52pmJack


lol this sounds like the climax



5:52pmKate


she sat down at her computer, read over her smart ass introduction, laughed at her arrogance



opened her web browser



and signed into facebook



the end






Dear Facebook

i love you
I love the distractions you bring on a boring afternoon, but I hate it when you know I have work to do and you just sit around and interrupt me, its really irritating because you know I'm about to fail TAFE and you know how much I don't want to.
Just leave me alone for the rest of the night, and maybe be a bit distant next week too?

Please? I'm powerless against you...
(L)



Monday, October 27, 2008

apologies

busy busy busy :(






Dear Blog,


i love you
But I'm too busy to write on you for a while.
Don't feel neglected, I will be back.
(L)

Monday, October 20, 2008

rumours

I don't actually know whether it's strange or not, whether it makes me abnormal... but I don't think it does...
So, I like a little bit of pain sometimes
, I'm thinking that's not the weirdest thing anyone's ever heard since we all tongue our loose teeth even though it hurts, its a good sort of pain? right?
Well, I love all sorts of painful things, nothing too fucked up or crazy like whips or cutting or anything like that, I'm talking lamecore painful things. Like Chinese burns, slaps, pinches, that feeling when you accidentally ram yourself into something and feel like the limb in question may never work properly again. Maybe thats why I have so many brusies, perhaps subconciusly my body's looking for it's next hit. Sicko.







Dear Pinches

i love you
You are the most sexy thing I have ever seen on this planet and, consequently, you turn me on terribly!
I know it's probably crazy to love you like this when all you do is hurt me... but you're everything to me, I know you can be short and blunt but I'm happy to endure the pain for the moments of ecstasy they bring, moments of pure uninhibited excitement and passion.
The pain excites me, I know it's wrong to say, I'm sitting here thinking about all the women trapped in abusive relationships who may read this and cry at my idiocy and all the Nazi feminist who would read this and feel compelled to throw up... But Pinches, if you stopped hurting me, I think I'd stop loving you.
Oh that is so screwed up, but I know you love me, I don't think you'd hurt me if I asked you to stop, a little bit of S&M never hurt anyone did it?

Oh wait, thats the point...
(L)

Sunday, October 19, 2008

i'm not sorry

I often find myself waiting for apologies or waiting for the moment I'm allowed to forgive someone for hurting me. I don't like being angry at people, especially people I value. But the apologies don't always come, or else they come and they're not what I was expecting, they seem hollow. I can see right through them to the insincere face delivering them. These transparent words hurt the worst I think, because I've been hanging out to release my forgiveness and make amends and then I end up more confused and wounded then I was originally.
I want to forgive everyone, but I don't think that they all deserve it. And I don't want people to walk all over me because they know I can't hold a very good grudge.





Dear Apologies,

i love you
You fix things, mend my wounds, heal my heart. Your attention surprises me and often causes my cheeks to light up in shades of pink and red.
You always speak to me so tenderly and always to heartfelt - You take my aching heart in your hands and nurture it into love, courage and most importantly, forgiveness.
You are the angel of my life, you come to me when I am feeling hurt or betrayed and you lift that sorrow from me and free me into a new world.

But Apology, the last time we hung out your words were empty. Your usual affect was lost on me, I felt more hurt and more betrayed by our last encounter than I have felt from any betrayal. I think you were being selfish, I think you were TRYING to get the forgiveness without much emphasis on the foreplay, and I'm sorry but the pain is too deep for forgiveness, I don't think it's mendable, not unless you can be the best Apology you've ever been... And I don't think you care enough to try.
It really hurts me when I'm waiting for certain things to be done or to be said so I can make a mends with you, but knowing at the same times these things will never occur.
I don't think you could understand how much you've hurt me because I don't understand it myself.
Please don't try to apologise again,

It only hurts me,
(L)



Friday, October 17, 2008

rose grey, lady grey, chai, sleepy time, chamomile

Tea, tea, tea, tea, tea. There's nothing better then sitting down in front of the television with a pot of a tea, an awesome housie, a blanket and puppy. It's the stuff dreams are made of.
There's also nothing better then sitting in a big cosy chair with a cup of tea and a good book (and maybe a puppy).







Dear Tea,

i love you
And I don't think I tell you that enough. I know you have only come into my life recently but you have changed everything so dramatically, you've altered my perspective on life.
Every morning when I wake up all I can do is think about seeing your face, spending time with you, feeling your soft kisses. Mornings, morning teas, afternoon teas and nighttime. You and I have an all day love affair which shoots lightning bolts through my body.
There's something magical about you that turns me into a fiend, it's in your kisses (that's where it is). They're searingly hot at first, like you've lit my lips on fire. They melt me. The fire from your lips spreads all over my body and settles in my tummy.

I know that my love is both real and true because when I know we're going to be hanging out I get super smiley and the butterflies invade my stomach to practice their aeronautical routines. When we make plans to watch late night movies I run around like crazy trying to get everything organised and perfect before you arrive.
It has to be true because your touch affects my entire being - it reaches deep inside my stomach and swells around in my heart.

I want you, NOW.
(L)


Thursday, October 16, 2008

half empty

I woke up feeling alone; feeling empty. Like there was a part of me missing - a big part. This feeling was surprising to me as I hadn't been feeling this way before. Had part of me escaped in the night, leaving me deflated?
I felt isolated. I missed everything I ever thought my life could be and even the things I knew my life still was. I was detached from every movement I made and every feeling I felt aside from the overwhelming pain in my heart.
I don't like this feeling, but am glad that tomorrow this feeling will be gone.
There's peace in that.







Dear Missing,

i love you,
You're gone now and I'm aching for you, aching for the touch of your words on my heart, my heart which feels utterly empty without you.
I wish we could have pulled together and made it work, instead we pulled apart and watched it die, writhing in the vacuum we had created, struggling to survive.
It's strange to think that I could have loved you forever, been with you for eternity. It's stranger still to think that I will love someone as fiercely as I loved you, but I will.
The distance is so vast and dark, I don't know how to cross it and reach you. Things in my life seem so odd when you're not associated with them anymore, my bed feels sacred to you and I. Your cuddles and your warmth - so terrifying to know that I will never be your littlest spoon again. Never again feel you behind me, breathing your life into my spine.
You've gone now,
Missing
Missing
Missing

But your lips belong to me, I stole them like a theif in the night. I keep them in my pocket and your heart still hugs my heart where they sleep together on my sleeve. But my heart is heavy, burdened and lonelier than I knew it could be. Because your heart has changed, its a shadow of what it once was, a memory perhaps.
How do you know whats meant to be? Forgotten, embraced, kept at a distance?
How do you know who's meant to be? Loved, fought for, betrayed, erased.
What memories would I be willing to lose in order to avoid fragments of a rubble heart?

All? None.

(L)



Wednesday, October 15, 2008

times have changed

50 pieces of gum... You think, I'm going to get some awesome tattoos. You think, scorpians, spiders, skull and crossbones, pirate treasures...
30 Pieces of gum and you get, three bright blue cameras which say CLIK. 100's of little manga dragonball Z type peoples, 'a do not walk sign', a chicken in a pot, a boxing kangaroo, some weird egyptian stuff, and cool ass sunglasses with lightening bolts on them.
20 pieces of PIRATE gum and you get, 4 pirate ships, 3 pirate treasure chests, 2 skulls and crossbones, 1 mean looking pirate, 2 ship pirate face combos and 8 ugly pirates with hook hands... I repeat 8!!! Why do they always make more of the shit ones no body wants?
It's not easy fitting 20 pieces of gum in your mouth at once either, and it makes one hell of a gum/spit ball.





Dear Bubblegum Tattoos,

i love you
I love you for many reasons, firstly because you're full of surprises, I never know exactly what I will get out of my time spent with you. Secondly I love you because you are sweet, sometimes you smell like bananas but mostly you are just sickly sweet, you treat me so well I feel like my teeth will rot out and my stomach burn and twist into a giant gum ball of uselessness, I like this about you, nothing else makes me feel this way. Thirdly, I love you because when your skin touches my skin it leaves a mark, I feel as if your touch embeds your thoughts onto my skin.
We were childhood sweethearts you and I, but we weren't like Joey and Dawson, Seth and Summer, Lucas and Peyton... We didn't have a swarm of high school kids wishing we'd get back together, knowing it was fate and just waiting for us to realise.
It was a shock to me, I think it was a shock to you too. But now we're together I think its the right thing, I think it's going to be great and I think we'll be together for a long time yet.

You know what I love about you, how you can be really lame but really cool at the same time, because FOURTHLY, you can make a chicken boiling in a pot with a handkerchief in his hand the most awesome thing I've ever seen...

I don't understand that, but I do understand that I love you,

(L)


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

laundry gremlins

I woke up this morning, rubbed my eyes, rolled clumsily out of bed and stumbled down towards the bathroom, shock, amazement, disbelief. WHAT IS THIS SHIT??? A giant laundry monster had entered the house and was threatening to take over. When on Earth had this happened? I couldn't recall a giant laundry pile being there before I went to bed...
So, this was something that needed to be dealt with swiftly, and also, before any of my extremely patient housemates realised they were sick of living with the laziest girl alive. I'm lazier than you're actually thinking I am now, I mean, it's one thing to let the laundry build up because I mean, who has the time or the inclination to do laundry...
I do.
I have both of those things.
I've been on holidays for two weeks, this is the time when laundry should be most up to date, but worse still, laundry is actually something I enjoy doing. It makes me happy... so why did this happen? HOW did this happen?
I'm still not sure, but 7 loads later and the problem had been solv-ed.







Dear Laundry

i love you

I fell out of bed this morning and into a oversized pile of clothes and towels that seemed to have enveloped my entire back foyer, bathroom/laundry area. This was perplexing because until this very moment I had not comprehended the actual severity of the situation; this made things worse, because i realised... I hadn't miss you.
This was an odd sensation because I know that I love you, so how did I not notice your absence in my life? When did we become one of those couples that can go days without talking? hanging out?
It hit me like the car hit my puppy; Laundry, you and I haven't been hanging out as much as we should... I mean, I don't even know how I've held out this long, why wasn't there an underwear crisis as a warning?
So I spent today with you and it was marvelous. You make my days brighter, you fill my life with sunshine. When I'm with you the doors to my soul fly open and I dance around the house with such purpose and meaning, I think I could be the perfect stepford wife if I married you.
You, puppy and I all in the backyard enjoying the sunshine, reading a book
, waiting for the clothes to dry.
There's always music when I'm with you, like our love has a soundtrack. It's hard to pin-point what exactly it is about you that I love, the one thing I know though, is when I lie down in bed after spending a day with you there is always sunshine in my sheets, and I know you put it there.

I empty my hamper into your tub and watch our lives spin dry together, and my tumble drier tummy spins too;

Just at the thought of you.
(L)



i think there for i am ... confused.

I don't know, everything is a little confusing sometimes. But lately everything has been confusing all the time and its very tiresome. I feel kind of lost because of it, and I feel like everything I do is a mistake, and that these mistakes are building a hate club against me, and eventually there will be an army of mistakes knocking on my door with flaming torches, so many things. I can't stop it either.
But in a way, I like it, the confusion that is, not the angry mob with torches and revenge. The confusion gives me things to think about and when the thought is confusing enough I can mull over it for hours, days, weeks.
Simplicity is nice too I guess, but boring.







Dear Confusion,


i love you
At least, I think I do... I can't imagine my life without you, but then again, my life with you is also hard to see.
I don't even know how you feel about me? Do you like me? Love me? appreciate me in anyway? I think I appreciate you... I know that you make me happy, well you do some times, other times you make me so angry, so sad.
I don't know what I know, what I want, what I feel.
What am I?

When I'm around you everything becomes a big question, and as a result I turn into a giant exclamation mark of frustration, or is it amazement? No, I think it's more like exasperation.
I'm in awe of how you manage to make everything to damn complicated. Nothing is simple, but it all seems so simple when I'm with you, then I walk away and I don't know anymore... or is it the other way around? When I'm with you I'm confused and when I walk away it all makes sense?
I guess I know that I have these crazy feelings for you, whether they are like or love or adoration... or hate? I'd like to know how you think of me but I suppose I probably never will.

You boggle my mind, but in a completely astonishing and captivating way...
I think.

(L)


Monday, October 13, 2008

flash back

Just wishing I was born in the 70's so I could have grown up in the 80's...





Dear Heathers,

i love you

You are the best 80's movie I've seen in a long time, and by far the funniest.
I generally enjoy a good
eighties flash back for a laugh at the clothes, jargon and their particularly hilarious breed of teen angst, but you are in a realm of your own, you are a diamond in the goddamn rough... I want to show you off to all my friends because I know that they will lovely almost intensely as I do, at the same time I want to keep you all to myself, a secret life pleasure...



Hey Ram, doesn't this cafeteria have a no fags allowed rule?
Well, they seem to have an open door policy for assholes though don't they?


Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?

This is Ohio. If you don't have a brewski in your hand you might as well be wearing a dress.

Shit, Heather, I don't have anything against Martha Dunnstock.
You don't have anything for her either. Come on. It will be very. The note will give her shower-nozzle masturbation material for weeks.


[praying in Heather's funeral] Jesus God in Heaven, why'd you have to kill such hot snatch?

All we want is to be treated like human beings, not to be experimented on like guinea pigs or patronized like bunny rabbits.
I don't patronize bunny rabbits.

Wanna go out tonight? Catch a movie? Miniature golf?
I was thinking more along the lines of slitting Heather Duke's wrists open, making it look like suicide.
Ah, now you're talking. I can be up for that. I've already started underlining meaningful passages in her copy of Moby Dick, if you know what I mean.

Whether to kill yourself or not is one of the most important decisions a teenager can make.

Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?

We must pray the other teenagers of Sherwood, Ohio, know the name of that righteous dude who can solve their problems: it's Jesus Christ, and he's in the Book.

It's so great to be able to talk to a girl and not have to ask "What's your major?". I hate that... . So, when you go to college, what subjects do you think you'll study?

I prayed for the death of Heather Chandler many times and I felt bad everytime I did it but I kept doing it anyway. Now I know you understood everything. Praise Jesus, Hallelujah.

[after being asked the lunchtime poll question] You go to the zoo and you get a lion. Stick a remote control bomb up it's butt... push the button on the bomb and you and the lion die like one.

Did you hear? School's canceled today cause Kurt & Ram killed themselves in a repressed, homosexual, suicide pact.
No Way!

My God, suicide. Why?
[holds up bottle of mineral water found next to one of the bodies] Does *this* answer your question?
[appalled] Oh man! They were fags?
Listen up: "We realized we could never reveal our forbidden love to an uncaring and un-understanding world."
[disgusted] Jesus H. Christ!
The quarterback, buggering the linebacker...
Oh, the humanity!


No doubt I'll be seeing you again... and again,
(L)


Sunday, October 12, 2008

hello little cloud

It rained today, it was life changing rain if such a thing exists. It altered my mood completely and I was totally lost in the excitement. I felt like a child again, listening to the loud thudding on my roof and hoping that it would somehow get louder, more violent... a black out? flash flooding? a hail storm?
Rain just seems to dramatic, so uncertain and I think the uncontrollable and mysterious nature of it is what really makes my heart race. I know a lot of people love rain, maybe they can love it as much as I do, I'm not sure. It could be possible, with me though rain just seems to intimate, so personal, and I'd like to believe no one else experiences rain in the same way I do, that it is my own special pleasure that no one else could understand or comprehend.







Dear Rain,

i love you
I asked for you today... I was sitting outside on my step with my pillow and my pup. I was daydreaming I think. My eyes wandered to the sky and I saw a little white cloud, he winked at me, I'm sure. I cocked my head to the side and I thought, 'little cloud, please can you make Rain come play with me today, I've been missing him.'
I didn't think you'd come, I didn't think that tiny fluff of a cloud had it in him - but two hours later I heard you tapping on my window. You were here, and you were magnificent. I lay down on the grass and let you cover me in little wet kisses.
I adore you rain, when you speak your velvet voice drowns out all my thoughts and all my fears until all I can do is sit mesmerized. You are exhilarating, and seeing you in such fine form made it hard for me to breath; I've been missing our meetings. You hadn't called me in such a long time I was starting to think you'd lost interest in me but today you were so intense that all I can do until I see you again is lie in bed and hope to hear your voice or your soft tapping on my window.
Don't wait so long this time, I want to walk with you again

I'll be listening,

(L)



Saturday, October 11, 2008

drama detox - day 1

I woke up excited today, this was because through the crack in my curtain I could see the sun smiling ever so brightly on my day.
Anticipating a beautiful exotic day of sunshine and happiness I began planning. I thought about what I'd wear and which laundry I would do first; towels, definitely. I organised to have coffee with friends and decided that later I would take my dog for a walk and soak in the wonder of a shinny sparkling day. Perhaps, if I had time, I'd take a blanket outside and relax reading a book.
Then of course, as always happens when you begin looking forward to things - and as especially seems to happen when you put a giant load of towels in the washing machine - the clouds took over the sky. They weren't happy clouds either, they were suspicious. I knew they were up to something.
I keep thinking winter's gone for good, and just as I start getting used to and embracing the idea the cold fronts come from all directions to declare war on this silly little town.
I'm really starting to get rather sick of it.






Dear Winter

i love you
You give me so many things I adore; warm tea, cosy heaters, movies with big comfy blankets, toe socks, snuggles without stickiness... big woolen jumpers, flannelet pj's, sometimes you even bring a little big of snow for dancing in.
But no matter how much I love you, and I do, lots... its doesn't change anything. I've told you this many times... we're finished: over.
We can't be together anymore. I've grown so tired of your nagging winds and incessant midnight howling.
My frozen toes are still suffering from our last encounter.
Things have gotten a little violent, a little to intense. I'm asking nicely; please, leave me alone.
I don't want to feel your icy touch when I get into bed anymore, its not right. I don't want to feel your cold glare against my back when I step out of the shower - I know you're still there, lurking around.
The point is, you're starting to scare me, you know? Freaking me out. We had some really wonderful times together W, just you and me. I won't forget you, and I hope one day, we can sort this all out and be friends - but right now, please, my toes need thawing and my shorts desperately need wearing and I just want to be able to play outside in the sun, without worrying
you're going to sneak up on me and ruin my day.

Just let me enjoy my life,
(L)





Friday, October 10, 2008

druple

As a kid there's certain things in my life that have always had the ability to send my heart racing; thunderstorms, spiders, trampolines, rainbow paddle pops, long car trips & tadpoles.
The hippy child dancing in my belly has always loved a dreaded boy, a dirty urchin child, I find it impossible to look away.
Street performers are amazing creatures. I'm drawn to them.






Dear Dreadlocks,

i love you
Every time I see you I take a double, triple, quadruple look at your rugged beauty. You are so super sexy, I find it hard to control myself around you.
One day I will marry you and have your dreaded children, our dreaded children, and they will be magnificent and gloriously beautiful and hopefully with locks of dreaded goodness.
Your mysteriousness takes my breath away. I'm left crazed by a desire to know what your matted ringlets contain. many secrets, a treasure map perhaps?
You send my spine into a tail spin.
One day I will kiss you.

One day
(L)




Thursday, October 9, 2008

reality?

Sometimes the only way to escape reality is by doing just that, but there's not a whole lot that can be done to be freed from the torments that can go on and on inside this head of mine. I like to read books, get so wrapped up in the lives on the fictional pages that I cannot even imagine worrying about myself, the same with movies, tv dramas; their lives are so dramatic in comparison its seems silly to worry about my trivial problems when I just watched a girl escape a serial killer stalker only to find her boyfriends unlce has been shot by her father and her boyfriends now gone to seek comfort in her bestfriend... I mean what can compare to that? But sometimes... you do compare. The only place I can go and be free of reality is my dreams, thats where I have had the most incredible unbelievable and unexplainable experiences of my life, and some of the worst.





Dear Dreams,


i love you
You are my most favourite in the whole world. The most amazing experiences of my life have occurred when I'm with you.

I have flown

I have sprinted and not moved, not matter how much i willed my legs to take me away

I have been the queen, a man, an executioner
I have had adventures in places that simply don't exist
I have witnessed magic
I have fallen thousands of meters from the sky and not been hurt at all
I have had sex on an old couch on the beach as the waves crashed around me (and not ended up with sand in all those uncomfortable places)
I have exacte
d revenge on those who have caused me pain
I have been haunted

Chased

Burnt

Tied

Beaten
Strangled

But Dreams, when I'm with you I feel safe, always. I know I can win when I'm with you, even if its simply by escaping to reality.

I have felt brave and courageous
With you Dreams, I am free.
Every night I lay in bed waiting for you to come to me, so show me something incredible, I wait for you... and unless I've drunk my wait in goon, you come to me and amaze me.

My life would be pointless if you didn't exist, you're my everything Dreams

Please never forget me, like I sometimes forget you.
(L)




Tuesday, October 7, 2008

inside

I spent today alone, huddled inside my head. I've been thinking too much lately and it's been making things harder than they should be.
Quiet brain, I already know what you're going to say and I've looked at it from every possible angle and still have no answer. Please leave me alone for a little while, I need space to not-think.

huddled inside my bed, huddled inside my head.
For some reason I'm not finding comfort in my usual places. Those little nooks I normally bury my nose to stop my brain mulling over the same old things. I've thought this all before, felt this all before; worried, fussed, obsessed over it time and time again.
Come on brain, where's your imagination? Give me something new to think, to feel. Give me someone new to be. Please. I'm tired of it all.





Dear Brain,

i love you
But spending the day with you made me realise just how much things have actually changed. You don't surprise me with your quirkiness anymore, I don't wake up confused about the colourful and hilarious dreams you have shown me in my sleep.
Sometime I find myself annoyed by everything you do, I could pick apart every little aspect of you and hate it all. You are boring, you are predictable, but you are mine.
You belong to me brain and m
e to you, but we've grown so far apart and I don't know how to get back to where we were.
I love you - I'm

just not IN love with you...

I'm sorry.

(L)










P.S. Would you consider couples counseling?

two months

I'm sitting nervously at my desk, missing the comfort and ease of my recently retired lap top.
My hands are typing, but they are reluctant and questioning. It's been so long since I asked them to do something worthwhile, something slightly more challenging than msn lmao. We are both still unsure as to whether this is something to begin.
I've been debating this with myself, whether my words are important enough to be put out into the world like this, it seems to formal. But I've made up my mind, my hands understand that. It doesn't matter whether I am the only one who knows this is here, so long as I am writing, thinking; questioning the world in a way I have only ever done when I write.
An old passion, an old love, an old flame. My first.




Dear Writing,

i love you
When I left you, did I change? Did I leave a part of me with you?
I have missed you emensley and am wondering how long it will be until you return to me like you used to. I miss the words you taught me, I've forgotten them all now, like a second language you forget to practice. I have only limited adjectives left; super, intense, awesome and amazing. I swear now too, constantly.
I'm writing this letter to you in hopes that you will return to me as soon as you can, you are my first love, a peice of me will always belong to you and theres a peice of you I stole and have been keeping in my heart.
I hope you come back...



Love always,
(L)