i think there for i am ... confused.

I don't know, everything is a little confusing sometimes. But lately everything has been confusing all the time and its very tiresome. I feel kind of lost because of it, and I feel like everything I do is a mistake, and that these mistakes are building a hate club against me, and eventually there will be an army of mistakes knocking on my door with flaming torches, so many things. I can't stop it either.
But in a way, I like it, the confusion that is, not the angry mob with torches and revenge. The confusion gives me things to think about and when the thought is confusing enough I can mull over it for hours, days, weeks.
Simplicity is nice too I guess, but boring.






Dear Confusion,

i love you
At least, I think I do... I can't imagine my life without you, but then again, my life with you is also hard to see.
I don't even know how you feel about me? Do you like me? Love me? appreciate me in anyway? I think I appreciate you... I know that you make me happy, well you do some times, other times you make me so angry, so sad.
I don't know what I know, what I want, what I feel.
What am I?
When I'm around you everything becomes a big question, and as a result I turn into a giant exclamation mark of frustration, or is it amazement? No, I think it's more like exasperation.
I'm in awe of how you manage to make everything to damn complicated. Nothing is simple, but it all seems so simple when I'm with you, then I walk away and I don't know anymore... or is it the other way around? When I'm with you I'm confused and when I walk away it all makes sense?
I guess I know that I have these crazy feelings for you, whether they are like or love or adoration... or hate? I'd like to know how you think of me but I suppose I probably never will.

You boggle my mind, but in a completely astonishing and captivating way...
I think.
(L)